This is for all of my misfit friends…
For much of my life, I’ve been in environments that have demanded me to be something that I’m not.
I grew up in what I would call a high control religious group & with dysfunctional dynamics.
I’ve resisted saying it out loud for a long time…
– what will YOU think of this?
– what will THEY think of this?
I’m not here to make statements about the group…
I have sibling who didn’t experience it the same way as me…
And I dearly love and want the best of these people (today more than ever)…
And yet…
I can’t escape my own experience.
I resented the politics.
I resented the control.
I resented what felt to me like a superficial religious experience.
I saw the things that were broken in the system…
And I tried my absolute best to make the most within it…
But I felt so powerless against it.
When a child so desperately needs to hear…
“This is who you are”
The system told me…
“This is who you are NOT”
Never enough.
Never smart enough.
Never good enough.
Never kind enough.
Never hardworking enough.
Not good enough for yourself.
Not good enough for your peers.
Not good enough for your ‘authorities’
Not good enough for God.
Too emotional
Too intellectual
Too creative
Too visionary
I had no idea that this was about to spill over into my first real work experience…
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